Deck the Soul with Boughs
of Forgiveness
by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio
CHRISTMAS! The word
evokes many feelings, depending on our experiences. For some, Christmas is a
happy time, filled with beautiful memories and joyful expectations. For others,
Christmas is a depressing time, a season one wants “to get over with” as
quickly as possible because of bad memories associated with this time of year.
Having ministered to
people for many years, I have come to the conclusion that depressing
memories at Christmas time are most often related to problems of unforgiveness. Hurts
from the past become more pronounced during the Christmas season, but the
reason those hurts still affect us is that we have not let go of the bitterness
associated with them. In short, we have not forgiven the people who have hurt
us.
Why do most people have
such a difficult time forgiving? I believe the main reason is that they do not
understand what forgiveness really means. If you are one of those people, what
follows may help you:
LET’S LOOK AT WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT:
•
Forgiveness is NOT letting someone off the hook.
•
Forgiveness is NOT condoning evil.
•
Forgiven is NOT being a doormat.
•
Forgiveness is NOT having to trust again the person who hurt you.
•
Forgiveness is NOT a feeling.
• Forgiveness
is NOT an option.
NOW LET’S LOOK AT
WHAT FORGIVENESS IS:
•
Forgiveness IS taking the person who hurt you off of your hook and placing him
on God’s hook, then praying that God will have mercy on him.
•
Forgiveness IS acknowledging that evil was done but choosing to bear the
consequences of that evil without retaliation.
•
Forgiveness IS taking charge of your emotions.
•
Forgiveness IS setting boundaries with the person who hurt you, even refusing
temporary or permanent interaction with that person, if necessary. An example
would be a wife who is being beaten by her husband.
•
Forgiveness IS a decision.
•
Forgiveness IS obedience to God’s commandment to forgive.
No
matter how badly you have been hurt, choose to forgive. It’s the best
thing you can do for your own well-being. Unforgiveness chains you emotionally
to the person who hurt you. Forgiveness breaks that chain and sets you free.
What
better time is there than the Christmas season to forgive those who have hurt
us? The very essence of Christmas is the truth that God forgave humanity
through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Who are we not to forgive when God has
forgiven us?
So
this Christmas, forgive! But don’t just forgive. Ask to be forgiven. As the
Word of God tells us, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
(Romans 3:23). All of us need not only to forgive but also to be forgiven.
And as long as we are on this earth, it is never too late to forgive or
to be forgiven.
For
a heartwarming, compelling story on the power of forgiveness, you may wish to
read my new novella entitled A
Christmas Homecoming. It is available in electronic
format for your Kindle, Nook, or iPad. You may purchase an electronic
copy of A Christmas Homecoming HERE, or for a print copy,
please email me at maryann@maryanndiorio.com and write the words PRINT
COPY in the subject line, and I will send you purchasing instructions.
Last,
but not least, may you forge happy memories this Christmas season as the power
of forgiveness sets you free!
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*Copyright
2012 by MaryAnn Diorio, PhD, MFA. All Rights Reserved. This article may
not be reproduced without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may
reach her at maryann@maryanndiorio.com.
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