Skip to main content

emotional wringer

Yes I voluntarily did this to myself. Spent three days putting this scene off then decided that as 2 of the kids were asleep and the other out playing, I'd bite the biscuit and just do it. So here I am, sore eyes, and several tissues later.

does it have the same impact on others? No idea.

Her smile lit her face, making her eyes glow. “You’re welcome.” Her fingers, her perfectly manicured finger tips, ran over the rim of her cup. “Why the rush though? Such a lovely book deserves time and care.”

He swallowed hard. “I wanted him to see it,” he whispered.

“Who?”

“It’s for a very special kid, the one it’s dedicated to.” He felt his eyes fill with tears and his voice started to wobble. “He was in an accident...no one expected him to survive, but he did. Only now, he has this massive infection and...”

Dawn’s hands covered his. “The little boy we’ve been praying for in church? Craig?”

Jem nodded, struggling to regain control. He wasn’t going to cry. Not here, not now and not in front of her. His phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Hello?”

“Mr. Anderson, its Tessa from ITU...” His heart froze as she spoke. “I think you should be here. Craig crashed, we got him back, but—”

“I’ll be there.” He closed the phone, his throat tight and his heart threatening to burst from his chest. Somehow he kept his voice level. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She looked at him as he stood and fumbled for his wallet. “No, I’ll get this.”

His pride bristled. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Sure you can. It was my idea. If it’s easier you can pay next time.”

Jem nodded, leaving the café as fast as he could. He ran to the car. Why had he let her talk him into this? Why had he gone against his better judgement and left the hospital? He drove fast, praying the whole way that the police would look the other way, that the speed cameras weren’t working and that he’d get there in time. Please, let me get there in time.

He gowned and masked and entered ITU to find an army of doctors standing around the bed. He ignored them and took his son’s hand. He shuddered inside. All the bandages were off now, Craig’s burned body open to the air. Tears ran slowly down his face. “I’m here,” he whispered. “Just hang on for another day. It’s almost done.”

One of the doctors, he wasn’t sure which one, spoke. “Craig’s body is shutting down. His systems are failing one by one. We could revive him again, but to be honest—”

Jem looked up. “It’s okay. He died a long time ago. Let him go.” He looked down at his son, reciting the prayer he’d taught him. “Gentle Jesus, meek and mild, look upon a little child...”

The alarms went off. Jem glanced up as every single one flat-lined. Tears streaming, his voice cracking, he continued praying. “Pity my simplicity. Suffer me to come to Thee...”

and the funeral is just as heartbreaking with its descriptions of small coffins and football shirts. But honestly, I'm not sobbing like I was. Wanna know why?

It wasn't Craig I saw when I wrote. It was my ten week old son, hooked up to all the monitors ITU could offer, wriggling one minute, then going stiff, blue, all the monitors flat lining and howling...

Comments

Donna B said…
Yup, definitely brought tears to my eyes too. I understand wholeheartedly what you mean about imagining your own child in the circumstances...

I probably would have been sobbing if I had been more involved in the story already.
Delia Latham said…
Wow. That's it, just - wow.
Clare Revell said…
Thank you both. I wasn't sure if i was just putting too much of me in that scene or not. Having been there, done that etc. And I know Rhys is almost 16 now, but I wouldn't wish that moment when he died at 10 weeks on anyone.

Even if I did just do it to Jem.
JoAnn said…
Well written. The only thing that came to mind is, would he really be concerned about who's paying the bill? I mean, when I face that kind of situation-- my mind focus on the emergency. It's like my vision and thoughts get tunnled. Does that make any sense?
Tanya Hanson said…
Beautiful scene, Clare. I don't think you can have too much emotion in a scene...and if you're anything like me, much of your true-life ends up in your writing.(which is why LOL I don't write Sci-fi."

Well done.

Popular posts from this blog

Escape to Whispering Creek by Barbara M Britton

“Escape to Whispering Creek” Barbara M. Britton   Thanks for having me on the blog again, Clare. Today is my launch day for “Escape to Whispering Creek.” Paperback fans will have to wait until October 31 st  to get their hands on Emma and Wade’s story. Readers will be able to head back to my Tennessee town with Emma. When Emma’s life implodes, she drives to see her bestie Sam in Whispering Creek. Emma hopes to get a job and make some money, but she never expects to fall in love with grumpy Wade. Samantha and Cole from “Christmas at Whispering Creek” return in this story, but “Escape” can be read as a standalone novel.   Book blurb: Emma Uranova enjoys her office job until her boss disappears with the investors' money. To avoid the media storm and false accusations, Emma flees to Whispering Creek, Tennessee to live on her best friend' s secluded property. When a temporary position opens up in Nashville, Emma leaves small-town anonymity to pad her depleted bank account. Wit...

A Texas Christmas Mystery

Blurb A lady Coastguardsman searches for a killer. An oil rig troubleshooter accused of murder races to clear his name. The murderer strives to silence them both. As Amber seeks to arrest Derrick, sparks fly. Amber Meredith needs to solve her first case. But the handsome Cajun suspect makes her heart race and her toes tingle. Derrick Darbonne worked all his life for his high-paying, adventurous job. When his past threatens his future, will he endanger the woman he loves?   Bio ANNE GREENE delights in writing about wounded heroes and gutsy heroines. Her second novel, a Scottish historical, Masquerade Marriage , won the New England Reader Choice award, the Laurel Wreath Award, and the Heart of Excellence Award. The sequel Marriage By Arrangement releases in December, 2013 .   A Texas Christmas Mystery also won awards. She makes her home in McKinney, Texas. Tim LaHaye led her to the Lord when she was twenty-one and Chuck Swindoll is her Pastor. View Anne’s ...

Author interview - Nicola Beaumont

Today we have author Nicola Beaumont with us. Nicola has written several books including The Lighthouse which I am spotlighting today. BLURB: DANGEROUS LIAISON... Rachel is in love with her best friend, but when Malachi doesn't seem interested, she turns to an international stranger whom she meets on the internet. At first, conversation is just a pastime, but soon, romantic fantasies form in her mind. Why not consider a man who travels across an ocean to meet her-a man who makes her feel wanted? After all, Malachi might as well be a world away-even if his concern does seem genuine when he warns her about the intriguing Frenchman. RESCUE ON THE WAY... Malachi has sworn not to interfere in Rachel's relationship, but he's in love with the head-strong woman who is determined to continue her budding romance...Yet, Malachi senses something isn't right about the playboy who has suddenly consumed Rachel's time, so he vows to save her from the stranger-and herself-even...