Helping the Suffering by James and Jennie Muldoon

 blurb:

Seeing someone you love hurting, and feeling like you can do nothing to help, is hard. We are so nervous about making their suffering worse that we are paralysed into doing nothing. James and Jennie Muldoon are familiar with suffering. They tell their story here, explain how they were supported and comforted by their brothers and sisters in Christ, and give ideas for where to start when we are helping those in pain.

And here's a little excerpt from the moment Elly was born, all of us waiting anxiously to see how her spina bifida would affect her...

At 10:59am, our baby girl was born.  We’d already decided to call her Elyania, roughly the Hebrew for “God has answered”.  And, just as we’d prayed, she came out kicking and screaming.  There was a thin layer of skin over her lesion, giving some protection to the neural tissue which was exposed there.  The staff weighed her, wrapped her up, and handed her to us.

It was a jubilant but surreal moment.  All that waiting, all those scans…  And now we were holding Elly in our arms as the staff were congratulating us!  There she was, this precious little gift who already looked like a mini-Jennie!  We felt extreme joy.  We felt an overwhelming calmness.  We were thrilled to see that she could move her legs.  Our hearts pounded with love for her.

And then reality kicked in again.  They needed to take Elly away to check her out more thoroughly.  Jennie longed for James to stay with her as they stitched up her wound, but was desperate for Elly not to be alone without a parent so sent James on his way to be with her.  It was a little taste of the sacrifice which goes along with parenthood.  We were all reunited a couple of hours later while Jennie was still in Recovery.

Over the next 24 hours, the thin layer of skin covering Elly’s lesion ruptured, leaving things exposed.  Spinal cerebral fluid started to leak out from it, giving a high risk of meningitis.  So it was decided that on the second day of her life, she should have massive spinal surgery to repair the lesion.  The surgeons gathered and explained the risks, which were substantial.  It was possible that she would lose the control she had over her legs and over her bladder and bowels.  But the risk of doing nothing was far greater.

Again our church mobilised to pray for her two days later on 8 December during the operation, which took hours.  Eventually she was returned to the Special Care Baby Unit in an incubator, looking so incredibly vulnerable and so cute all at the same time.

It’s a strange feeling for a parent to see your child so helpless.  All of our parenting instincts are to protect, to provide, to support, to nurture, but at that moment, all we could do was watch and pray.  And wait.  Again.

My review:

I knew some of this, being one of the congregation mentioned in the book. But I found myself thinking over and over again, I never knew that, I never knew that. And yes, I cried. More than once. We also had difficulties with our first baby and being an ICU parent isn't easy. But having in print the struggles that other parents went through and answers to some of the difficult questions is great. Everyone needs to read this book.

short interview on the church website - 

buy links

https://www.christianfocus.com/products/2914/helping-the-suffering

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Helping-Suffering-Autobiographical-Reflections-Supporting/dp/152710558X

https://www.amazon.com/Helping-Suffering-Autobiographical-Reflections-Supporting/dp/152710558X

Bios

James Muldoon lives in Reading with his wife, Jennie, and their three children. He studied Classics and then Theology and now serves as co–pastor of Carey Baptist Church.

Jennie studied Theology and trained as an Occupational Therapist. She and her husband, James, have three children, all of whom will probably be on the stage one day.