Skip to main content

Important Recall Notice

I got this from Chris my SIL who lives in Sydney. Thought it worthy of posting here :)

RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect. The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

- GOD P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Because He Lives!

Comments

Libby Scrivener said…
Extremely witty yet pointed and oh so appropriate. Thanks so much for sharing Clare, I enjoyed it!
Marianne Evans said…
Great post, Clare! (and oh, so true!) God bless!
Carol Ann said…
I love this blog post! In fact, I'm sharing the link in my newsletter which will be available through my website beginning September 1st. : )
Donna B said…
I love it! This is the first time I've seen the detail! I thought the short facebook post was cute but this is MARVELOUS!!!!
Clare Revell said…
Glad you all liked it. :D

Popular posts from this blog

Phooey Kerflooey: Three Kids And A Puppy vs The Squirrel Of The Apocalypse by Kristen Joy Wilkes

Kristen says "Once upon a time, our family of three young boys welcomed a princess into our home. A furry princess, a princess who ended up weighing more than they did, was terrified of haybales and bags of chicken feed, and refused to drink out of anything but her own special mug. Our boys were charmed by their puppy princess and asked that I write a story based on her. It took me seven years, but finally I present to you  Phooey Kerflooey ! While our own boys delighted in Princess Leia Freyja’s scaredy-cat antics and princess ways, the boys in the story take a bit longer to appreciate Phooey’s gifts. However, I pray that you will enjoy their journey together as they battle the squirrel of the apocalypse and search for perfect peace amidst a storm of chaos. " And I loved this one. It's gone straight back into the TBR pile. A puppy will fix everything.  A boring new house?  Boring house + puppy = adventure!    An attacking squirrel?  Evil squirrel + puppy =...

The Time for Healing by Ramona K Cecil

Winner - Best in Fiction Indiana Faith and Writing Contest 2014 Ginny Red Fawn McLain is determined to hold fast to her adoptive Shawnee culture despite her sudden reentry into her white birth family. She rejects their Christianity, fearing the tenets of the white man’s religion will prevent her from practicing as a Shawnee medicine woman. But her heart refuses to shun her uncle’s young friend and apprentice minister, Jeremiah Dunbar.   Jeremiah Dunbar has never doubted what he would do with his life—he’d follow in his father’s footsteps as a minister of the Gospel. But a mission trip west to the Native American tribes makes him begin to question his future plans. At the discovery of his fellow missionary’s long lost niece living among the Shawnee, Jeremiah is immediately smitten. But unless Ginny Red Fawn McLain joins Christ’s fold—something she adamantly resists—Jeremiah will have to choose between the woman he loves and the work God has called him to do.    G...

Phooey Kerflooey vs The Battle Squirrel by Kristen Joy Wilks

  Phooey Kerflooey has finally found a home of her own. Too bad a raging squirrel found it first! Rasputin the squirrel spends his time stealing snacks, pooing on the counters, and biting tender noses. Phooey’s perfect home has become a perfect storm of chaos! Phooey will do anything for her boys. Almost step on the shiny floor. Mostly go potty outside. Bite a baby carrot in half. Maybe two carrots, or even three! The boys want Phooey to chase Rasputin and save the day, but it’s hard when so many scary things stand in her way. If only Phooey had her pink dolly to boost her bravery. Can Phooey find her courage and chase that bad squirrel out of their lives forever? Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after that. For sure by next week. Phooey will be very brave . . . someday. Theme verse: Isaiah 32:18--My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest. My review:  Phooey is back in this wonderful story of the puppy v the battle squirrel. Havi...